sunbeams and sugardrops

Archive for June 2006

Posted on: June 27, 2006

I have been asked to sell my soul…studio photographs for shaadi purposes!!! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!
I cannot do it…I just can’t. Even though I know it’ll give my mother some peace of mind, I can’t be a good daughter this time. I never thought this would be my story, my parents looking for a man for me to marry. But seeing as I am turning 25 and my dad has sleepless nights over my single status, I have agreed to let them look and ask our thousands of relatives to let the hunt begin. Even that is a big deal to someone who pictured being romanced and completely swept off her feet by the proverbial knight in shining armour, preferably having met him through mutual friends or something equally normal. No such luck thus far. What I have instead is parents who worry…a whole lot…and tell me all about it.
And so…just so there is a little peace, a temporary respite from incessant lectures and from the guilt over my dad’s anxiety, I agreed to let them introduce me to people. I agreed to meet with or talk to any eligible young men that they wished me to interact with. This certainly brought that temporary peace I wanted…until their anxiety escalated and now they feel the need for pictures.I’m sorry but I just can’t do it. Meeting people is one thing but having a picture of me shown around as basis for whether or not they want to meet me! wtf! what is this…catalogue shopping?!!
From the one person that my dad has wanted me to talk to, I am beginning to wonder, do my parents even know me. This guy and I had not a single thing to talk about. There wasn’t the slightest bit of interest on either side so chemistry, one can imagine, hadn’t even a flicker of a chance. So we bored each other for about 15 minutes and were so polite and ended by saying we’d speak soon which both of us knew was a complete lie. It was traumatic. I exaggerate…but not that much. And this is just from my parents trying to hook me up. I can tell this whole process is not going to get any easier now that relatives are involved. Somebody save me!!

Growing up is a magical thing…except for minor inconveniences like people ruining your happy camel ride memories. But even that one can learn to deal with. What I’m loving most about myself these days is how much living alone is teaching me. I’ve become disciplined almost and my flat is actually clean and cute and I think I am quite the hostess. Funny though…I remember when I was moving in, I was cribbing to Ford that nobody would ever come and visit me in Kopar-bloody-khairane and he said trust me, people will come and there will even be a day when you will have people over and you are gonna be thinking ‘when the hell is this person gonna leave!! I want my house to myself!!’. And sure enough, that day came. And soon. And this person is a good friend who’s company I enjoy..its just that I wanted my home to myself. Not a bad feeling at all.
So even though I live in the middle of nowhere, in a society that truly reminds me of a ghetto, even though rikshawallahs never want to take me to my place of work,I have no airconditioning and suffer in the sweltering heat every night, my neighbours probably disapprove of the noises emanating from my flat and I have to travel an hour minimum to get anywhere half decent, I am happy.I love that I can cook for myself, that I can now battle lizards and cockroaches with very little screaming, that I have a well stocked bar,that people come and visit me even though I live in the middle of nowhere and that when I come home after being away for a while and the sun is still streaming in through the windows, I actually feel at peace.