sunbeams and sugardrops

Archive for May 2006

I’ve always been in love with this city…always envied the people who got to live here…always wanted to be one of them. And now I am. I am living the dream. And its everything I thought it would be. Only more so. My first week working in Mumbai and I have felt every emotion possible.

Ok…of course thats an exageration because I havent yet felt any of the terrible things people have warned me about…the politics at work, the snide bitchiness, the people trying to rip you off, the desperate lonliness…None of that. I am sure all of that is around the corner somewhere but I think I’m ready for it…ready enough that it isn’t something I need to dwell on and will take it as it comes.

Meanwhile this city has been kicking my butt and I love it anyway. I’ve learned what it is to commute in this city and because I haven’t taken a train yet, my commute to and from work has so far not only been EXTREMELY tiring, but also hard on the wallet. I take rickshaws in the mornings…an hour and a half…and buses in the evenings…2 hours. average Rs.250 – 300 a day easily.And I’ve been at work for 7 days now…and have gone home 7 different ways. But the thing is…as dusty and grimy and tiring as these rides are, I am still happy. Something about this city enables me to love even the worst parts of my day. Ok picture this…I was heading home on a bus one night,all hot and sweaty,crossing the vasai creek and I look over to my left and see the most beautiful thing. A patch of lights sparkling gold and orange in the distance across the water and above that, a really low hanging cloud that took on the golden glow of the city under it. I was mesmerised by the city’s halo even as I realised that the cloud was a cloud of pollution. Thats true love right there….

Posted on: May 10, 2006

Although Jakarta has been my home for almost 15 years now, every other time I left this place, I felt relieved. This time its different. This time…its hurting.Maybe its because when I come here next, if at all, things will have changed ALOT. And this time I’m leaving to start a life of my own…finally independent. And as wonderful as that thought is, there is a touch of loss. I feel like I’m losing some things that have meant so much to me, that I’ve taken for granted, leaving behind a bit of my childhood…
These thoughts have for the first time in my life made me slightly uneasy about travelling tomorrow. I’ve been flying my whole life…since I was 6 months old. I have never felt like this before. It’s even spilling into my conversations with other people…like a bad case of PMS. Everything in this house, everywhere I look in here, I feel like I’m saying goodbye for the last time…and I HATE goodbyes!

But…whatever will be, will be.

I guess thats what life is about…and its about time I got used to it.


Sugar Droplets