sunbeams and sugardrops

Archive for December 2005

I’ve finally felt the urge to blog again…

The rage I’m feeling needs an outlet and talking just isn’t enough…

I recently found out about the most painful, disgusting betrayal I have experienced yet. I made the mistake of misjudging and trusting the most undeserving person I can imagine and the real extent of his shallowness, and twisted mind became fully apparent to me just recently…I am now finally free of even the tiny shred of civility I showed him.

The hypocrisy and complete blindness of this person, his complete inability to see the wrong in himself while still thinking he had the right to pass judgement on others, the excuses people made for him….

I found this poem by William Blake. It reflects my rage…I’m not a murdering psycho but oh god it would be nice to hurt him back.

The Poison Tree

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears
Night and morning with my tears,
And I sunned it with smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright,
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine, –

And into my garden stole
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning, glad, I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree

——–

My anger will subside…I will not let the scum that he is be the reason behind my wasted energy any longer…