sunbeams and sugardrops

Archive for August 2005

Sin

Posted on: August 26, 2005

I can’t believe how the brain can stop functioning sometimes…you know there are things you should be doing but somehow can’t pull yourself together for long enough to get anything productive done.

But its a good thing none of this is happening to me…right?

I’d like to take a few moments to purge all the negativity from inside me. The 7 deadly sins…they are deadly for a reason, both in myself and in others. So, in no particular order, the sins and how they plague my life:

Pride is excessive belief in one’s own abilities, It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity: When I see this in others, when I am around vain people, my blood boils. Its one thing to be sure of oneself and one’s abilities…another thing completely to look down on other people…for whatever reason. And I don’t even want to start on the people who can only talk/think about themselves and how brilliant they are, and how gorgeous they are and how many people they know etc etc. If these people are so awesome, maybe they should let their many qualities speak for themselves no?

Envy is the desire for others’ traits, status, abilities, or situation: This is a sin that I indulge in…more often than I would like, more involunatary than I would like. All that is required to keep this in check is a little clarity of thought but in those moments of enviousness…all I see is flashes of green. It is ugly.

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires: Those who know me understand why I don’t even need to explain this. Lets just say…chocolate is the devil’s food.

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body: Again…self explanatory. Except I do want to say…lust is the root of too many problems. When the object of one’s lust isn’t acquired, it leads to anger. Often when it is, it leads to vanity, and sometimes envy in others.

Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath: Another sin that I have indulged in far too often recently…especially sinful I think when loved ones bear the brunt of it. And too many times I find I let myself get carried away with my anger at people who mean less to me than a hangnail.

Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work: When I’m in these moments where I feel like I’m wrapped in silk,perfectly warm and cool and smooth, I find it hard to leave that moment to attend to more pressing matters…I’d rather remain in the voluptuousness of the moment…

Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain: Hmmm…haven’t seen much of this…but then again…we are at a business school…greed is probably the driving force of 99% of the population…no I don’t really mean that. I don’t really have much to say about this sin.

Ok so thats just one out of 7 that I dont have a problem with…YET…NOT GOOD!!!

Had a really great, sin free hour today in class though…there was an exercise in the leadership class that required us to write nice things about atleast 8 people in class. It was a magical experience because it made people think beyond what they see everyday…try and recollect observations they made 3 months back…reach out to someone they wouldn’t normally approach.If taken in the spirit it was meant, it was brilliant…

So the thing with blogs is that they are our’s right? personal places to bare whichever part of our soul we please in whatever fashion we choose…
This seems to have become quite an issue on campus…there are about 8 blogs that everyone seems to read and EVERYONE has an opinion…especially those 8 bloggers about each other…
Some people have a problem with other blogs because they think they are ‘pandering’ to their audience, others have a problem with the way people write…too verbose, not funny enough, too nice..
So far the only reasonable objection I’ve heard against one of these campus bloggers is the one about trying to pass off works of fiction as reality.
This one I too have a problem with…but really…let the delusional fool have his moment in the sun.

How responsible are we for the image of our school and the way it is affected by what people say on their blogs? I’m not sure how this one should work…

I realise that this campus blogging thing has rubbed off on me in one way…I too have become cryptic, sometimes needlessly so. No more names mentioned on my blog…all initials. I noticed this on a few other blogs and decided I kinda like it…and funnily enough even mundane things seem more interesting when there is the mystery of an initial.

In other news, more is out in the open than I would like, and somethings have me confused beyond belief…but its kinda nice 🙂

Saw a video on Vh1…the song is called Bad Day by David Powter. I love the video…it’s the sweetest thing. And the amazing thing is…i’m sure things like that actually happen to people.

Anyhow…real life:
This term is going by like a dream…and by dream I mean something hazy that you can’t really recall when you wake up.
Every subject is so boring, and every professor so dull compared to those in the last terms, I hardly even remember which professor is which.
The 2nd lot seem a little better than the first though. The new OM guy is the cutest penguinlike thing…and the new Entrepreneurship guy managed to make yesterday’s class extremely interesting so thats something.I think it might be the cases we’re doing now. The last case we did in Entrepreneurship, Alacrity, brought out something deep from everyone…probably the most charged debate I’ve seen in class yet..and our class is good with the debates and comments.
Schoolgirl like notepassing in class keeps things interesting when there isn’t any intersting CP to keep us awake.

Met my local Aikya family last night…interesting bunch of people at their place…everybody started from scratch and built themselves up to where they are now…even got to speak a little bahasa and experience the smallness of the world once again. This man knew sooo many of the people I knew in Indoenesia, frankly it was a little frightening.

In other news, I royally screwed up one assignment that I had taken responsibility for and completely let my group down, who by the way are absolute stars and forgave me. And to make up for the botched up assignment, I took up another quant heavy assignment but this time came through with some help and a lot of smart work (notice how I don’t say hard work?)

and just as an aside…the other thing that I thought was making life a little more interesting?…not so anymore…but the best thing about this term so far is that things are settling down and levelling out with a lot of people I’ve met here, some truths have come out about others, and new things and new people have become a part of my little world.

Another day, another f&$@ up…
That song by John Mayer, My Stupid Mouth, he’s talking about me right there.
I have absolutely no filter between my brain and my mouth and I sort of like that about me…except I think this openness won’t fly for too long..
The minute I’m excited about something, those close to me can either read it on my face or I’m shouting it out from roof tops for most of the world to hear. And ofcourse, that comes back to bite me in the ass..

It’s quite a shame that in this world, nice guys finish last…coz I’m a nice guy…to the core!!!
And some effing jackasses might get away with being jackasses…oh these are the moments when I want to believe in Karma…

But then again, there are the lovely people on the other end of the spectrum…my ladies, A,E,G who I really love despite them being the WsTTC that they are…and of course A…who has been getting under my skin all week but who is a star anyway.
And S…could there be a better groupmate…he has tolerated alot from me this week..the studying for 30 minutes then taking a break for 90…good man…

Does that sound a bit like an Oscar acceptence speech? Do I care?

Anyhow…hope the f&$@ up doesn’t turn out to hope too embarassing…

Am procrastinating like mad…
But its all good…have understood the gist of the managerial accounting assignment…need to run a wee regression, then an LP and we’re good to go.

Meanwhile…I think I’ve finally found an interesting distraction (not that I necessarily needed more). And life here has become a little more…fun.

I think I might have been getting bored of the usual lunch routine…I love how we break into charades now (as G so succinctly put it). A whole new world has opened up since my minor successes at charades 🙂

And ever since badminton has started up again…am feeling sooo much better (although if I’m honest…it might be something completely different thats making me feel better)

*heehee*